Gym Rules of Engagement: Bro Version

Guys, we need to have a talk…

It’s not easy to do this but some of you need a little guidance and we are here to help. The reality is, once you enter the doors of the gym, you’re entering a world
that may be a little confusing or new to you. This is completely understandable and some of the things we see make it abundantly clear that you might need a little hug and a whisper in the ear. So take this with some humor but do realize this is to be helpful for everyone, including your fellow gym peers.

What exactly am I getting at? Your gear bro, we need to talk…

I’m going to give you a few Do’s and Don’ts that you can thank me for later.746-45

Do: Get Clothes That Fit!

This one can be a bit touchy, I know. Let me break it down for you as simple as I can. I don’t want to see your junk and I don’t want to see butts or guts. That means make sure your stuff isn’t too short, primarily. Here’s an easy test for your shirts. Stand in front of a mirror and raise both hands straight up over your head. Do you see your belly? Yes? Get an undershirt or go buy a bigger shirt! Gents, I love you all but it’s time to tighten up the game a little.

Now, with the full moon and twig & berries shows, make sure your bottom half fits you too! Maybe in your mind you’re Ted Nugent running around in a loincloth but I promise we are just lifting weights. If you see your crown jewels slapping and banging around when you’re swinging aafd86997bd42129c169f361f5b7958dthe kettlebells it’s probably time to get some compression shorts. If you bend over or kneel and you feel a breeze down the backside, we’re all seeing more than we want to see. All of this is meant as a friendly suggestion from a good friend. Don’t get your feelings all hurt, we’re men.

Stuffed nose: boy with clothespin on his nose, simulating cold. Undated B/W photograph. --- Image by © Bettmann/CORBISDon’t Be A Stink/Scent Bomb (Two Things Here!)

 This one is multifaceted and for good reason. If you pop a sniff under the gun show and notice a strange aroma, that’s only going to grow as you get going through a workout. Now, do the same treatment to your clothes. If it’s funky it’s time to toss it to the side and pick a different one. I shouldn’t have to say this but this applies to the shorts as well. Check the back door, gents, sometimes it’s even worse. The smell can get trapped in old gym attire so make sure a good washing actually gets the stink out. I

We covered the obvious body odor issues but a huge issue is actually trapped in a bottle. Don’t over scent with the cologne, body spray, etc. It is awful to have to train hard while sucking in the latest man scent. Save it for after the shower, I cannot thank you enough for that.

I’m glad we got to have this talk and hopefully, you found the humor but also so the gym fouls that occur on a regular basis. So say it with me, no butts, guts, or…well you get the idea! See you under the bar or on the turf!thanks bro

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